English Puppet – McCartney Apologizes For 9/11 Song : Apologizes To The Progressive Tyrants!

New York — Giving in to public pressure, singer and composer Paul McCartney issued a statement on Monday, apologizing to the progressive artistic community for his “pro-American lyrics and compulsive right-wing behavior” in the days following the 9/11 attacks in New York City, when he organized Concert For New York and performed the “ill-conceived” patriotic song calledFreedom. “I don’t know what came over me,” says McCartney, 64, who was widely criticized by peace activists as a “pro-war Beatle” for writing and singing a jingoistic tune containing such lines as “I will fight for the right to live in freedom. ” In his statement, McCartney acknowledges that he had been experiencing “right-wing sentiments” for several weeks following 9/11. “Please know from my heart that I am not a patriot. I am not a even an American,” he said.

Members of the artistic community, who have speculated about the fallout from McCartney’s reported pro-freedom slurs, have greeted his most recent statement favorably.
George Michael:
“I don’t want to minimize for a moment the hurt and anger, the anguish that song has created among us. But we’re glad that Mr. McCartney has finally owned up to the fact that he wrote a right-wing pro-American song, and we welcome his efforts to repair the damage he has caused.”


Neil Young:
I hope his apology is sincere and heartfelt. But McCartney needs to show tangible actions of repentance – like marrying a dolphin or something.


Bob Gendolf:
“Once he completes his rehabilitation for freedom-loving nonsense, we will be ready and willing to help him with his second rehabilitation to combat this disease of pro-Americanism.”


Natalie Maines:
“McCartney would probably be spared if somewhere in the second verse he would explain that by freedom he meant not the American ideal of Liberty with its fixation on individualism and responsible behavior – but rather free healthcare, housing, social services, and all kinds of permissiveness in general. Let his example be a stark reminder to all musicians. The Party discipline has to be enforced.”

According to sources close to the ACLU, on the morning of Sept. 11, 2001, McCartney was on a plane at the JFK airport when his flight was grounded due to terror alert. The moment he saw the World Trade Center collapse, the ex-Beatle launched into a profanity-laced tirade, hurling openly pro-American, jingoistic, and patriotic statements at the skies, the ACLU source said. It was in this inebriated right-wing state that co-author of “All You Need Is Love” and other politically correct songs canceled his tour and unilaterally organized a benefit for the 9/11 victims. This was completely out of sync with the rest of the artistic community who correctly responded to the attack by renewed unanimous efforts to undermine US imperialism from within.

“Now I realize there is no excuse, nor should there be any tolerance, for anyone who thinks or expresses any kind of pro-American sentiment,” McCartney said in a statement issued by his publicist. “I want to apologize specifically for the vitriolic and harmful song that I wrote and performed to an audience of New York firefighters, police, and rescue workers after 9/11.”

It was during that performance that the ex-Beatle’s pro-American sentiments went way above the posted limit. When the ACLU squad approached McCartney they smelled “Jefferson and the Bill of Rights” on his breath, and a thoughtcrime test showed that his pro-American content was 0.9, while the New York legal limit is 0.001.

“My pro-Americanism was a moment of temporary insanity,” the embattled author of Let It Be said. “I am grateful to the ACLU, my fellow celebrities, and members of the media for apprehending me before I caused any setbacks to their plans for America, and thus had my artistic license revoked. I apologize to the artists and musicians who have always been there for me and indeed probably saved me from myself. Especially I would like to apologize to heroic MTV producers whose tireless counter-cultural efforts have helped to create the perfectly uniform climate of artistic expression that we enjoy today.”

“I used to sing with John Lennon, so whenever I sing about politics today, my words carry additional weight in the public arena,” McCartney said. “Therefore, I must assume additional responsibility for my actions and apologize directly to those who have been hurt by those lyrics, especially to Billie, Mike and Tre of Green Day whose profound award-winning song ‘American Idiot’ I cynically snubbed with my inane blather about freedom. Perhaps if I had responded to 9/11 by writing ‘American Idiot’ myself, I would not be in this situation today,” said the author of Yesterday, adding that he has “suffered from the disease of freedom-loving” all his adult life, especially while writingBlackbird, and that he profoundly regrets this “horrific relapse.”

“After my mistakes have been pointed out to me, I understand that I should have never sung that freedom is ‘a right given by God,’ and instead of ‘I will fight for the right to live in freedom’ I should’ve said ‘I will compromise,’ or ‘I will rely on the United Nations for the right to live in freedom,”‘ said the embattled Sir Paul.

“I have disgraced myself with that song and have taken necessary steps to ensure my return to conformity,” McCartney said, announcing that he is embarking on an “ongoing self-criticism program” to battle his relapsed jingoism and wants to meet with community leaders to help him “discern the appropriate path for healing.”

“I am in the process of understanding where those freedom-loving words came from, and I am asking the progressive community, whom I have personally offended with my pro-Americanism, to help me on my journey through recovery,” the statement continued. “I know there will be many who will want nothing to do with me, and that would be understandable.”

McCartney denied his apology was meant to limit any career damage. “It’s about existing in harmony in a world that seems to have gone mad,” he said.

In an effort to help Sir Paul on his journey through recovery, our orbital correspondent Laika the Space Dog has re-written some of his earlier songs to show him how he can improve his image and writing skills:

The People’s Cube disclaimer:
since many people have posted this link elsewhere on the Internet as a true news item, we must reveal that in reality Paul McCartney still hasn’t apologized for the hurt and anguish he has brought upon the progressive community with his pro-American song. If the story looks so real to so many, it must have correctly captured the alternate reality cultivated by most music celebrities, in which wishful thinking stands for the higher truth, and knee-jerk anti-Americanism stands for the higher morality. Somehow Paul McCartney has managed to stay away from all that – which brings up a question: where is the Music Kommissar and what he/she is going to do to force McCartney to conform to the narrow margins of diversity in Party-approved artistic expressions?
— Red Square


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